Baking Through My Journey As a Doctor to Be

i changed a lot since last year, since i came to melbourne. this is somehow good but there are still a few things that i dun like about me, the new me, or i should say my life in melbourne. the thing that i'm happy about is firstly, i have learnt to appreciate things, things that i always took for granted back home. i learnt to appreciate my parents' effort of taking great care of us d making sure that we are always happy and carefree and well-protected. i learnt to appreciate my sista who i didn't really love back home because our personalities are totally different. i even learnt to appreaciate my little brother endless bugging. miss him so much. apart from family, i've also realized the importance of friends and how can people around u can spice ur life up. made u feel wanted and loved. i luv my friends. 2ndly, no doubt i've become much much more independent since i came here, since sis and my buddies were and are not doing the same course as me, i have to do things all by myself. Orientation, faculty welcome, introductory lecture, information session, tutorials, EVERYTHING... so i have to sort things out by myself, keep a close eye on every single detail of my course so that i won be left out, do my own revision, find my way around the medical building, spending 35 min looking for "Communication Skills foe Medicine" in brownless library... and the thing is doing medicine is really hahaz, 1st u'll have to do a police check, which include u filling up a yellow sheet of form without a mistake and liquid corrector, have it signed by the authorised somebody, buy a money order for the victoria police. 2nd, u'll have to have a english screening test to make sure that ur english standard has met the minimum requirement of the faculty (IELTS n TOEFL n EAP do not count), and if ur performance ain't satisfying, u'll have to go for a interview which again include a hell lot of things and a DELA test later on (wonder why i know it in such details?) 3rd, u will have to have a blood test to make sure that u dun have HIV, Hep B and Hep C. Besides, they will run a few test which include drawing blood again n injection for TCT test and a range of vaccination programme on u. 4th, u'll have to obtain a first aid certificate by the 30th of June. it's not oridinary first aid test, u'll have to get a SENIOR or ADVANCED or LEVEL 2 cert. sounds cool huh? i'm dying. u guys who read my blog are invited to my funeral. i have to do all these all by myself, without sis, jess n ai ming!!! Gee... i'm not bad. seriously if i were the me few years back, i'll most probably break down and cry like siao and is on my way home to penang. (not that i did not cry though, but just a tiny wee bit ;) shhhhh~~~) okie i've lost track of the sequencing so i might as well just carry on rather than figuring out what is the next number, btw, my brain is for bombastic things like cytoskeleton protein, pineal gland, prohormone, astrocyte, endothelial cells, not for simple number in sequence -_-" screw biology. what's next, no doubt i've become more sociable too. i learnt to reach out and make new friends, approach new people and start a chat, some of them are really fantastic and i feel grateful for that. but the thing is this is so not me. i'm so not sociable ok, i dunno what to talk with new met friends, i am shy and i just simply don't like the feeling of infamilarity. i'm humanphobia for god sake. but in uni i was forced to stand by myself and do things that won do back home, things that are so against my will but yet i HAVE to do it. making new friends of course is NOT a bad thing AT ALL but it's just hard for me. so hard so hard~~~ maybe it's the absence of the sense of belonging that makes thing tougher than ever for me. i feel dumb in school cause others are so freaking smart, i feel inferior cause others are like so sharp, i feel weak because my english sucks, i feel hopeless cause they are teaching biology and i'm scared because i'm alone. (not literally, i have friends, but i just feel like helpless) alright, enough of those depressing statementsssssss, so i would like to end this lengthy blog with a quote from a senior.

"if u're not enjoying SEM 1, u might not be enjoying ur life in the medical school again."

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and i'm not enjoying it, at least now i am not

cool isn't it, this helped a lot to cheer me up